Flying Fat

I fly a lot. I can walk on a plane and know if the seats will be comfy or if I'll be squashed or if I'll need a seat belt extender or not. I just flew 4 segments on a round trip and did not need an extender once. Plant strong is resulting in weight loss. Ain't that a kick? :D

On my last flight, which was completely full, I had to take a middle seat and had to sit next to a woman younger than me who was larger than me. To say I was wedged in is an understatement. Worse, this woman says to me, "yeah, I'm a big girl, I'll try to lean out in the aisle." She was apologetic. I was stunned. I have never been apologetic. I might not like my size, but I am not going to apologize to someone for being as I am.

You might remember Kevin Smith (actor, director - Clerks) who got kicked off a Southwest flight for being too large. He claims he was in his seat and buckled in but they told him he either had to have 2 seats or none. Mortified, he stomped off and made a big PR thing out of it. The story raised a lot of conversation about who is too big to fly in the constantly shrinking airline seats. It's a game that people on the large end can't win. Kevin Smith is 400 lbs. Is that too big to fly?

So my dilemma is that as I sat next to this woman who lopped over onto my seat I could think only of talking to her about her eating habits. What food are you addicted to? Do you eat motivated by emotion? How many diets have you tried without changing your eating habits on a permanent basis? I never said those things, but I thought about it. I wasn't prepared to have that conversation. By prepared, I mean that the conversation has to be non-judgmental, affirming, hopeful, and supportive. I realize there is a line between support and evangelism. I believe that what I have come upon in this plantstrong approach is a potential answer for a lot of obese people who are addicted to food that no amount of "dieting" will overcome. I know that obese people have emotional relationships with food. Dieting won't overcome that either.

There was an article today about Kevin Smith because he had another airline incident though it was not related to his weight directly. He was late for a flight because he did not want to have people looking at him and judging him as they passed through first class. The comments on the news story are very revealing about how the non-obese view the obese. Indeed, the comments are all about judgment - get a trainer, push away from the table, etc. Essentially, the view is that if you are fat you are lacking in discipline, self-esteem, or other affirming qualities. The lack of affirmation is a byproduct for sure. My seatmate apologizing for her size is exhibit A.

Yes, I am doing something about my size that will be a permanent solution. But the answers were not easy to come by and took me a lot of trial and error to find. It's an answer that does not seem to be broadly embraced. I think about the South Beach diet and the "no carbs eat steak" diet and how wildly popular they are. People take them on, lose weight, go off them, gain weight, and do it all over again. Maybe that works if you have 20 pounds to lose, but not for the obese. The obesity epidemic needs real answers, honest talk, and science. How does this approach get disseminated?